I'm in the home stretch. This is the last week of classes. I have a final group project and a final next week and then I'm off to Scandinavia for 9 days for school. And them my first full year as an MBA student will be done. It never ends - I'm taking two classes this summer and working about 20 hours a week at an internship. This week promises to be one of the worst ones but I feel like I'm getting a good handle on things.
As I've gone through this first year I've thought time and time again how business school in some ways is very much like doing a triathlon, a marathon or other long distance event. I'm not just talking about the chronic fatigue, the lack of proper training and always feeling so run down that you're constantly in danger of getting sick. And it's not the pitying and/or admiring looks you get from people when you tell them what you are doing.
Back in my triathlon days I used to ride with a few hardcore roadies, one of whom was a coach. His motto for his clients was Keep Moving Forward and Never Think Outside of the Box You Are In. Keep moving forward is fairly obvious - if you aren't moving forward you are standing still. Standing still brings self-doubt and thoughts of quitting. I've had more self-doubt this year than I've ever had before and I've lost count of the number of times I've thought of quitting. Back when I was racing, I never failed to finish a race. I may have blown up spectacularly on the run or shut down mentally on the bike but onward I pressed, knowing that the shame of not finishing would stick with me far longer than the glory of crossing the finish line. It's taken me a while but I've finally started to approach business school much in the same way. Sure I could quit (and believe me there have been times that I've come thisclose to doing so!) but could I live with myself if I didn't finish? No. I quit something 17 years ago and despite all that I've done and all that I've accomplished since that memory is more clear than anything else in my past. So I keep moving forward toward the finish line. School has been just like an Ironman: I push through the pain, the suffering, the joy of finishing things I didn't think I could, I take comfort in going through the journey with others. I keep moving forward.
Never Think Outside of the Box You Are In is a little less obvious. An Ironman is a 2.4 mile swim, a 112 mile bike ride and a full marathon (26.2). It's a very long day. It's also really overwhelming to be in the middle of the swim and realize you still have 138 more miles to go. But if you never look past one stroke during the swim, one pedal rotation on the bike or one step forward on the run it's more manageable. If you constantly stay in the moment of where you are in the race, you don't get too far ahead of yourself and you can manage any challenges (a flat, a lost nutrition bottle, a kick in the face in the swim) as they come. One step at a time. We have a ridiculous amount of work to do in business school. The pace is relentless - readings, homeworks, papers, group projects, presentations. Just when you finish one thing there are 10 more things waiting to be done. It's easy to get lost and feel overwhelmed. But if you keep things in perspective and don't get too far ahead of yourself (believe me - you will do yourself no good by stressing about the final paper during the first month of school) the pace is still relentless but is more manageable.
So here I am, nearing the end of my first year of business school. I got up at 5am this morning to exercise, have breakfast and shower so I get to work as soon as possible. I did an hour + on my research assistantship work, did another hour on Scandinavia pre-work and and another hour starting studying for my economics final next week. Bit by bit I'm getting stuff done. I move forward with each task. If I start freaking about my economics exam next week today I am going to really freak out. I'm sick today (still) and I feel very very sad about something but if I stop to dwell on these things I am going to start crying and then I will get stuck. I've made peace with the fact that I am going to finish school and I am choosing to believe that things will get better. I keep moving forward.
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