Japan

I haven't written anything about Japan. It's been over a month since the earthquake(s) and tsunami and I still have no words. What can I say? I am shocked, devastated, sad, angry, hopeful and a million other emotions. The disaster in Japan has affected me more than September 11 did. When I saw the images on tv last month (and since) I felt like my heart was being ripped in two, like I was watching my home be destroyed and I was half-way around the world, powerless to do anything. I want to help but I don't know how and it's too early for the help that I can provide. How can I help fix things when things are still breaking?

I'm writing these words today because I saw a video of still photographs of Fukushima. It looks like a forgotten place. Everything is exactly the same as it was when people left - traffic lights still change, air conditioners still hum, clothes are still hung in the window to dry. It could be any town in Japan, it could have been my city. Everything is the same but nothing is the same at all. When I started writing this post I thought that maybe today I could say how I feel. I still can't. I can't put into words the ache in my chest and the pain in my stomach that I've felt at any mention of Japan over the past month. It just hurts.

There is a teeny-tiny piece of me that feels hopeful. The Japanese are very resilient and I know they will rebuilt, stronger than before. The comfort in this is fleeting - rebuilding will take a very long time and we don't yet know the extent of the damage or how ruinous the radiation will be. But every fiber of my being still projects hope.

"Fall seven times and stand up eight." - Japanese proverb