New Year

Happy New Year!! (or as V would say, "Happy Nude Rear!")

It's been a crazy year. I feel like I blinked an suddenly it was December. School took up so much of my mental and physical space that when I think back on 2011, all I can see are images of me sitting on my couch, huddled over my laptop; me, sitting in class, feeling both energized and overwhelmed; and me, somewhere along my commute to or from school.

2012 promises to be a big year - I applied for graduation this morning and god willing, I will start a new career this summer. I am really really excited about all that 2012 holds. I love new beginnings. Though every day and every minute is a chance to start over, there is something about a new year that truly seems to wipe the slate clean.

I've decided to not focus on New Year's resolutions this year; instead I've come up with 10 goals for myself or 10 things I'd like to learn, try or experience. Inevitably this list will change after graduation and I have more "free time" (is there not a more beautiful phrase in the English language than "free time"? I think not.) but this list stems out of where I am at present. Though it's fun to think of the future and all that it holds, I am very aware that I live now, today and here.

1. Take a class on yoga arm balances. I've been practicing yoga consistently for a year and a half and I am so proud of how much I've learned about my body and how much it has helped me gain a little peace. I am constantly amazed that I can do poses now that I could barely even understand when I started. One area that continues to be a challenge is arm balances and I'd like to take a workshop to really break down the poses so I can start practicing in earnest.

2. Travel somewhere new. I barely made it out of my county this year. Fortunately when I did make it out of the county, I went to many new places: Copenhagen, Stockholm and Halifax and visited some favorites including Maine and Western Mass. I love exploring new places and I hope to find a few new places to explore this year.

3. Wear less black. I have been in a style rut for over 25 years. I've worn all black for years because at various times I've thought it was cool, slimming, or simply the easiest color to pick out in the stores. I really don't like to shop so whatever is easiest sometimes wins. I took a class in change management this fall and as part of the class we had to pick a personal change that we wanted to make and use it to investigate change theories throughout the entire semester. I picked "inject more color into my wardrobe." I weeded a bunch of aged black t-shirts and have slowly begun replacing them with color. It was scary at first, but I've found that I feel better about myself when I wear a little color - I feel more confident, more stylish and feel like I don't simply disappear when I walk into a room. I still own a lot of black clothing and I've noticed that when forced to pick a black shirt out of my dresser I'm a little disappointed that I have to wear all black "again". Crazy, I know :-) I'd like to continue the progress I've made and continue to inject a little color into my wardrobe.

3. My hair grows really fast so I've had about 15 haircuts this year. None of them were great cuts though I am mildly pleased with its present state. One thing that every hair stylist has agreed upon is that I don't have good hair. It's thin and fine and there isn't much of it. There is also a steady increase in the amount of grey that's growing in. I'm not ready for grey hair. Popular opinion among hairstylists is that if I were to color my hair it would give me "better" hair (I think this was complimentary?). I bought a box of hair color over the summer but I've been too chicken to use it. This year, for sure.

4. I've set a few sewing goals for myself this year. I only set five but there's so much I want to do and learn that it was hard to even identify some things that I don't even know that I want to learn how to do yet. I am really looking forward to being done with school so I can continue to learn and create.

5. Live band karaoke. The last time I did karaoke was in September 1997 in Japan. Karaoke is part of the Japanese culture and it's generally assumed that you're going to suck and have a great time while doing it. A couple of weeks ago one of my friends organized an outing to a bar that hosts a weekly live band karaoke. The band plays and you sing along with the lyric sheet. I didn't know what to expect so I watched the first 10 or so singers. They were amazing! It's clear that a lot more people practice singing popular songs in the shower than I do. I was totally intimidated and didn't put my name on the list until it was too late. I really want to do this. I don't have a particularly good singing voice but I like performing and I am kicking myself that I just didn't go for it when I had the chance. We're going again in a few works and mark my words, I am going to badly belt out some pop song if it's the last thing I do.

6. Graduation is on May 19. Yay!!! I can't wait!! Unless I flunk all of my classes (unlikely), I am going to get my MBA this year. I took a huge leap leaving libraries and starting a new career and it's been a wild wild ride. I am so glad that I didn't accept complacency and unhappiness and that I went back to school to learn something new. I cannot wait to see how my new career comes together.

7. I need to widen my circle of friends. In some ways, I have never felt more lonely than I have in my life as I have felt in the past year and a half. My promise to myself: I will not allow myself to keep feeling this way after May.

8. I'd like to take a class in the fall. I know this seems nuts - I've been in class quite intensely for the past year and a half. Those are business school classes. While they've been interesting and at times fun, I haven't enjoyed them in the same way I'd enjoy taking an improv class or a belly dancing class or a Japanese class for fun.

9. (I'm reserving this one for some magical discovery/remembrance of something I've always wanted to do!)

10. I've been mulling an entrepreneurial venture for a few months. I'm not sure if it's the influence of business school, because I have something to prove to myself or just because I have an idea that I think might be kind of fun, but this is the year that I figure out how to make it work and if it's possible to start a small (very small) business.