update

It's been a while since I've written anything of substance. This was purposeful. How I feel about school, and thus how I feel about everything else, changes constantly. One day I'm on top of the world; the next I am down in the dumps. I got tired of trying to define this roller coaster here. So this post is just an update on what's happening with me lately. Read 'em and weep!

- Before spring break I met with my adviser. If I get through the spring semester and get through the two classes I'm taking this summer I'll only have 7 classes left. This bears repeating: I'll only have 7 classes left!!!! I had thought it was 9 so this is a lot more do-able, particularly if I can do an internship for one of those classes. I cried the entire weekend before I got this news. Since meeting with my adviser I can't say that I am happier in my program in as much as I've resigned myself to finish. We have 6 weeks left of classes before finals and I've already completed one class this semester. I registered for fall classes this morning. Though I fantasize about quitting school all the time, it's not going to happen - I am going to finish. Damn-it.

- Over spring break I read Water for Elephants. I bought this book last year but I thought I wouldn't like it because while it's not historical fiction (which I hate) it is set in the 1930s. I LOVED this book!!! It's so well written and it's about this circus in the '30s which I've always been interested in. Oddly, my least favorite part was the love story. And the hardest part to read was the part set in modern times. I miss my grandfather. (I know this is vague/non-sequitor-ish - but if you haven't read the book yet - and you totally should!! - I don't want to give anything away!!) Read it now before they ruin the book with the movie!!

- I'm going to Stockholm and Copenhagen in May for school. It's a week-long trip where we'll be visiting Scandinavian companies and working on real business problems the companies face. I am really excited but super nervous about what on earth I'll be able to eat while I'm there. The syllabus and class info was posted last night. If I thought this was going to be an "easy A" I am sadly mistaken. There is a ridiculous amount of work to be done!

- I'm looking for a summer internship. It's not going well. I received a lot of conflicting info about a lot of things so now I'm just confused. It's unfortunate that I was a Librarian for 11 years before going back to school because it takes a special kind of company to see past the "L word" on my resume and see that I can do everything they want me to do and more. I'm also torn between two careers post-MBA - marking for a tech firms or organizational behavior/change management. I'm more qualified for organizational behavior but I would totally love to work for a cutting edge tech firm!! I went to a co-op fair yesterday. I think I have a shot at two human resource positions but I am not sure if that's what I really want. Or if I should do the h.r. thing this summer and save an awesome marketing internship for the fall as one of my classes and when it's less competitive. Argh!!! On the positive side, I got a new suit last month and I wore it for the first time yesterday. I love it and I love that it's not the same black suit that everyone else in my program has! (On a related note - I don't know how Hilary Clinton does it but every time I put on a pants suit I end up looking very very butch. No amount of makeup or accessorizing makes me look feminine in a pants suit!)

- I've been doing some sewing. There is fabric all over my apartment and a half-finished bag on my sewing table and a quilt in progress in my living room. I've been fantasizing about a half-dozen or so other projects and possibly a small entrepreneurial venture. This all makes me very very happy :-)

- I'm still going to yoga. I was up to three classes/week at one point and my body got a little burned out. I still love it and love what it does for me mentally and physically but I've cut back to two classes/week for a while. I found a new studio that I adore - the owner is so nice and so cool and the Tues/Thurs instructor is amazing - I just wish it weren't such a drive!

- I still have moments of unbearable loneliness, even when I am surrounded by a crowd of people. I quite desperately want someone to share my life with but the reality is that I have very little time. I find this very depressing and is probably the one massive regret I have about being back in school at age 36.

- Spring, beautiful spring, is here!!!! Or rather, it was here last week. The crocuses around my complex have bloomed! It was so warm last week I went for a walk in short sleeves!!! And typical for New England, it snowed yesterday. The ground is too warm so it didn't stick. We're stuck in the 40s this week and everyone is complaining. Sure, I wish it could be 75 and sunny every day too, but at least the daily high isn't 15 degrees anymore!!

- Do you ever worry so much about someone that you become angry when you think of them because you are sure that they are slowly killing themselves and they're in complete denial?? This is me. I know there's nothing I can do but I am so worried I can't bear it.

- I didn't fail my economics midterm! The class is taught in Greek. Not literally, but it's like one giant graph that I totally don't get. The instructor lectures for about 2 1/2 hours straight with no outline, no slides, no visual aids. He says as long as you have a good set of notes you'll do fine on the exams. The only grades are the midterm and the final. I try to write everything down but then I get confused (or tired) so I stop and pick back up again when I can. The professor is very nice but the class is awful. We had the midterm before spring break and I walked out thinking I failed. We got the exams back on Wednesday and I got a 71. With the curve it's a C+. I am so relieved!!! I know this grade isn't awesome but I literally did the very best I possibly could on the exam so I'm happy with the grade (and there were two people who actually failed the exam!). The professor said that students tend to do better on second half of the class (macroeconomics) and I'm already understanding it more so I feel like a B is not totally out of the question. Yay!!!

I think that's about it for my update. Really, other than school, there ain't nothin' happening. May spring be lovely for all of you! :-)