Thoughts on the fall semester

I am done! Done D-O-N-E done!!! My last group paper was turned in Thursday and I finished grading for the professor I work for on Friday night and got the last "all clear" email from him on Saturday morning. Just like that, the fall semester came to a close. Grades were posted yesterday so if there was any doubt, it's gone.

I am so glad it's over. It's been a wild semester and I can't even begin to describe it even though I'd very much like to. In no particular order, some thoughts and observations about the semester:

- The worst feeling in the world is needing a hug but not having the time to find one or having anyone around to give you one.

- Looking back on all the reading, the papers and exams I have to wonder "Was there a point? Was it all busy work?" Is the idea of business school to crush you with the workload and then set you free into the world with the confidence that if you survived business school you can do anything?

- A friend of mine who graduated from a top-10 business school a year or so ago has been hounding me all semester about summer internships, telling me if I haven't applied or done informational interviews by now that I probably wouldn't get one. Like I needed to hear this. I wish I had the guts to tell him to back off.

- My school is right in Downtown, in a very historic part of town. It is pretty awesome to get off the subway every morning and walk through the areas that tourists flock to, knowing it's my second home.

- The second worst feeling in the world is crying on the subway. Monday mornings were horrible as I knew I was in for about 6 hours of material that was way over my head. Sometimes the tears just came and not a single person looked at me, said anything to me or even acknowledged that I was there. It felt like adding isolation to lonliness.

- I honestly thought Operations & Data Analysis was going to kill me. The workload was unreal: 4 homeworks, 4 group papers, 2 individual papers, a lengthy Excel assignment and ALEKS. Miraculously I soldiered through and survived. I still have no idea what it was that I studied or if I actually learned anything. Somehow I ended up with an 89.8/100 as my final grade. The professor gave me a B+. He couldn't have given me the extra .20 for all my pain and suffering so I could have an A-?? More likely, he probably looked at my grade and couldn't fathom how somewhere who was so openly clueless about the subject as I managed to do so well and kept me at a B+.

- My school offers a dual JD/MBA degree program for those who really like to suffer. Oops, I mean for those who really want an edge in the work world. Aside from the JD students in my class, every single one of my classmates at one point or another expressed serious thoughts about dropping out, quitting, going part-time, etc. The JD students all said they looked forward to a "relaxing" semester after successfully finishing their first year of law school. I don't know of anyone who's not actually coming back next semester.

- One of the weirdest classes I took was Organizational Behavior. I think we were supposed to learn how to look at different workplace situations through different lenses. We actually spent a ridiculous amount of time sitting in groups, talking about our "personal stories" (don't ask). As my friend A said, "We've got Accounting, Economics, Operations & Data Analysis and Let's Sit Around and Talk About Our Feelings. I've got seven projects to work on and I am supposed to make time to think about thinking about someone else's personal story!" This description was dead accurate and I am glad that we all got As in the class.

- The third worst feeling in the world is feeling like you've let yourself and your family down because you can't handle your stress and keep your shit together.

- The library at my school is a pretty nice one, even though it's impossible to find somewhere to sit on a Wednesday afternoon. The library does a lot of things right and my old library could take some notes from this library. The library has a huge reserve system - every single textbook for every single class is on reserve at the circ desk. Students check out the book for two hours and the next student who comes looking for it is given a pager that buzzes when it's been returned. If the student who has it checked out doesn't return it on time the circ staff makes an announcement like "Attention patrons! If you've borrowed the book for Business Law please return it, your time is up and another student is waiting." Apparently they use the loud speaker for other notifications because as I was studying one afternoon I head "Attention patrons! If you have taken the stapler away from the printers please return it immediately!!" I thought this was hilarious.

- My favorite class turned out to be accounting. The first half of the semester was awful - balance sheets, income states and the like. Way over my head and I still cannot balance anything. My professor was really nutty and funny and rambling, which I loved, but not for teaching a subject I don't get. Then we started cost accounting where we figured out break even points, created "what if" models (what if we raised our prices? what if we hired another person?) and it all started to make sense to me in a huge, awesome way. My entrepreneurial spirit was alive and well as I ended the semester and my professor has almost convinced me to take another accounting class!

- I made time for yoga and exercise, for cooking nutritious meal and for crying all the time. I failed to make enough time for getting proper sleep (hellloooo nightmares!) or doing non-school stuff with friends. I need to work on this next semester. Even when I did make plans with friends I felt stressed by what was waiting for me at home or so depressed and melancholy from the whole semester that I probably wasn't much fun to be with anyway.

- Funniest moment of the whole semester: All MBA students have to take a one-credit required class on "career planning". It's one of those know your strengths and weaknesses, know yourself kind of classes. During the second day's lecture, the professor asked rhetorically, "Who knows you better than you?" A student (an MBA student!) raised his hand and said tentatively "Your mom?" I laughed so hard I cried!

- Class participation is a huge part of every class grade, ranging from 10% - 40%. I made a point of speaking up in every class, asking questions, contributing to the discussion, etc. Some of my classmates never said a word! Not one word! In my IT class it wasn't until we had group presentations that I heard some of my classmates' voices. I sincerely hope their grades participation grades were lower than mine.

- My research assistantship was kind of a nightmare. I got it as part of the scholarship package the school gave me. When you apply for a placement you aren't told anything about what you might be doing. On the faculty side, apparently it's a big coup for a professor to have their own research assistant. I've long felt that faculty are severely out of touch with the world. Yes, it's great to have a research assistant but you have to be prepared to actually direct the work flow your student and not assume that the research assistant is going to know what you mean by a vague email. I think a lot of training on both sides would have made the entire experience a little less painful. As it is, my professor is calling me his "teaching assistant" (which my school does not have) so I am basically doing everything but actually teach the class. For $13/hour. If I'm awarded the same scholarship next year I am putting in for a transfer!

- It's weird to be back in school. I am old enough to be some of the undergraduates' mom. On the bus and subway I see everyone else in their suits and business clothes while I am in jeans. On a morning trip to Target all I see are soccer moms. I study at the library at school, study at the library in my town or study at home. I don't have a lot of free time and when I have free time everyone else is working. It's like I'm on a planet of one that is revolving around the sun at a different angle than everyone else's planet.

- At various points during the semester my classmates and I would look at each other and think "This class [lecture] is taking too much time away from all that I have to do!"

- My school did a very evil thing this semester. There were two Monday holidays. Since the MBA classes only meet once/week for three hours the time needs to be made up. I have no problem with this. There are no classes held on Friday so the make-up classes were held on Friday. I don't have a problem with this either. What I do have a problem with is holding the make-up classes on two Fridays in a row during midterms!!! At the end of October, my schedule looked like this:
Monday classes
(Tuesday class, Wednesday class)
Monday classes on Friday
Monday classes
(Tuesday class, Wednesday class)
Monday classes on Friday
My worst classes were on Monday so it was a special hell to have them 5 times in a two week period!

- I'm glad I survived. I'm glad I didn't drop out or quit. I am very glad that I have a fairly long break during which I plan to do a lot of nothing. I've picked some interesting classes next semester and only one that's math-centric so I'm hoping it will be a little easier *fingers crossed*