Summer goals - the verdict

I have no idea how to classify this summer. Some things have been fantastic and others have sucked beyond sucking (namely my job). I think all-in-all there were too many tears and not enough laughter. At the beginning of the summer I set 10 goals for myself. I am pretty goal-oriented but I hesitate to set certain goals for myself because I become obsessed about achieving the goal and forget about the journey. After writing that initial post about my summer goals I totally forgot which ones I set so I ended up just doing stuff that I wanted to and not getting hung up on the achievement and yet still managed to accomplish everything I set out to do.

Here's the outcome on this summer's goals:

1. "Go away for a weekend, other than to Maine for Memorial Day, July 4th and Labor Day."
I went to New York City. In July. It was great! I also went on quite a few day trips.
2. "Re-join match.com."
I joined. I went on quite a few first dates and dated someone for about a month. I have to say in all the years I've been dating and all the years I've been trying to date by meeting people online I have never ever feel like such a weirdo freak as I have in the past couple of months. In the profile I wrote I think I was pretty honest - I've lived in a lot of places, done a lot of things and am interested in a lot of things. However, when I meet guys its either been a rapid-fire questioning of everything I've done or he's clearly not ever done anything but go to the gym or hang around bars or go to Sox games leaving me to wonder what on earth he thought he was going to get from me. I have never felt so hopeless or so despairing or so freaking worried that I've missed my chance and I am going to be alone forever.

3. "Run a 5k or 10k along the Charles River."
I ran along the Charles River a lot, two or three times a week. I love it. I never found it in me to find a race. I still think about it but the reality is that that part of my life is over and I don't really pine for shared athleticism as I used to. And injury has a way of getting in the way of things. At the beginning of the summer I did something to my calf. I recovered, started feeling good running again only to do something to my hamstring. Perhaps this is my body's way of telling me to just run for me?

4. "Play hooky from work one day and go to Plum Island."
I did this! I called in "sick" (and did not feel guilty AT ALL) and went to Plum Island and spent the day getting stung by mosquitoes on the marshes, walking on the beach and then exploring Newburyport. It was so lovely and I would really like to return this fall!!
5."Find decent Korean food somewhere in the state of Massachusetts!"
I'm still working on this one. One of the freebie Boston magazines put out a "best of" issue recently and there was a listing for best Korean food. I tore out the page with the info but haven't made it there yet. Soon! Must go soon!!!

6. "Go out more socially."
I think I've done this, to a degree. I gave up making plans with friends in the town where I worked and started doing things as a "hanger on-er" of some of my brother's friends. I've also gone out and done things just to do them. Let's face it - if I wait around until someone wants to hang out with me or be with me, it has become painfully clear that I am going to be waiting a long, long time.

7. "Learn and experiment more with gluten-free flours and baking."
Nailed it! To master gluten-free baking what you need is a little bit of patience, some experimentation and a huge dash of humor. After like 10 tries I finally nailed a brownie recipe I'm happy with (I took them to my goodbye party at work and everyone there raved about them and told me under no uncertain terms was I taking the extras with me when I left!). I also made a blueberry pie and a vanilla cake with chocolate frosting. I've made two loaves of bread from two different mixes with very mixed results. Fine for a sandwich but nothing I'd serve to others. Next up is a zucchini bread which I feel hopeful about.

8. "Host get togethers for three separate groups of people."
I hosted two get togethers for two different groups of people. I'm not sure about how my guests felt but I felt they were both successes and have given me a lot of confidence in my cooking skills. For the first set I made roasted gazpacho, two different kinds of tacos, coconut rice and a blueberry pie for dessert. For the second set I made roasted kale, white asparagus, salad, a lasagna, and a vanilla cake. The lasagna came out great! I used tofu as the ricotta cheese and even my non-tofu-eating-dad liked it. It made a ton so the leftovers are in my freezer, waiting for a cold night when I don't want to cook. I never hosted the get together for the third party. I thought about it a lot but couldn't stomach having a certain person who's part of that group in my house judging me and making me feel inferior. Hosting was really fun and I was able to work through how to time everything so it's all done at the same time, which dishware to use (and which ones I lack!) and how to plan everything out. Things I need to work on: relaxing with my guests more and worrying about everything less and leaving the damn dishes in the sink alone!! I hope to make some opportunities this fall for having people over.

9. "This summer I'd like to try a new dish at least every other week."
This didn't happen exactly, but I certainly did add to my repertoire of things I can cook. In addition to the foods I made for my two dinner parties I also tested out a bunch of recipes, namely dips and sauces. I am immensely proud of the pasta sauce I created - with tomatoes, zucchini, artichoke hearts, capers and other random things - and I am pleased that I thought of a million (a slight exaggeration) different salads to make with quinoa for lunches. Not everything I've made has been a success but my confidence in my cooking skills has grown so immensely that I am not afraid to try and take my failures as learning experiences.

10. "Make a quilt."
Yay! I made a quilt!! I love my quilt and can't wait to turn it in to Project Linus!!
Goal-wise this summer has been a success. I have mixed feelings about this. Great that I achieved my goals but in other ways this summer has also been the mostly lonely summer (or any other time of year) that I've had in my entire life. Ever feel so trapped by yourself that you become powerless to change what bothers you most? Yup, that's been my summer. I can say achieving all of my goals has been a better way to get through a lonely summer than not doing anything at all.

Fall is traditionally a hard season for me. It's one of my favorite seasons - my birthday is in October, I love the leaves changing and I love the chill in the air - but I struggle with the loss of daylight. I am super excited about school!! I've deal with most of the nervousness and anxiety I've had during the past two weeks while unemployed (aka "on vacation") and now I am just ready to go and looking forward to starting a new chapter!!