Day 10: Thomas, WV

This was the first day of the whole trip that I was in the same place for the entire day. A day of rest and play!

You'd think that as tired and happy as I was when I went to bed last night I would have slept like a baby. Not so! Tossed and turned all night and couldn't breathe too well. I woke up at an insanely early hour and did some writing in my journal. Once it was light I totally gave up on the sleep thing and went for a hike by the Blackwater River that runs right by the place I'm staying. It was kind of a cool morning - the temperature on the sign for the bank in town said 59. No idea where my jeans are - in some bag in the car somewhere, I hope! - so I threw on my usual uniform (dirty shorts and clean-ish t-shirt - I wouldn't mind having some different clothing options at this point) and threw on a fleece at the last minute. The sky was grey/overcast but I could totally tell the sun was going to show his wily little face today.

This is a really really beautiful area. Words and pictures do not do it justice! My friends told me there was a waterfall a couple of miles down the river and gave me some second hand directions on how to find it. I should have been easy to find - just follow the river and eventually I'll find a waterfall, right? Despite my excellent sense of direction I am not the best trailblazer so I ended up wandering through a couple of people's yards by accident - oops! Check out this beautiful scenery and waterfall!!!!

I hiked back pretty quickly and had some time to hang out with my friends for a while before they set off for Baltimore. It was so wonderful seeing them and I am so excited about having Jeni back in my life but the goodbye was painful!!

Between being super tired, kind of sad, kind of happy, kind of directionless and kind of restless for some outdoor activities I was kind of a mess. So I did what everyone does when they're a mess: find Fairfax Stone! Fairfax Stone marks the headwaters of the Potomac and the boundary between West Virginia and Maryland. Kind of cool, eh? I might have been standing in two states at once (a first!) when I took this picture but there was no state boundary so I couldn't be sure.

Next up: a hike! A hike, a hike! I was really itching for a hike! I headed for New Canaan State Park and hiked around the National Wildlife Refuge for a while. I know I sound like a broken record but it was beautiful! It's a series of interconnecting trails that criss cross all over the place. Once again, my trailblazing skills failed me and I kind of lost the trail down by the river. I swear it just stopped. I tromped around for a while and scratched the shit out of my calves on branches before I gave up and headed back the way I came and ended up on an entirely different trail. Can one study trailblazing?? If so, sign me up!! If the path is marked and obvious why can't I find it?!?! I think I was out there for 2-3 hours and it felt great - so peaceful and beautiful.

I did some interesting thinking while hiking. I recently had a deep conversation with a certain someone. I asked him if he died tomorrow would he be completely happy with the way he lived his life. Without hesitation he said "yes." Normally I don't like to ask questions I don't want to answer myself but this was one question I don't completely know the answer to (I distracted him from asking me the same question by changing the subject :). I'd like to say yes, but don't know if it would be an emphatic yes. I feel like I've wasted a lot of time bumbling around looking for whatever it is that's going to be the one thing (career/job-wise) that I can do that will make me happy. The expectation of society is you find one passion, one calling, one career and that's what you will do for the rest of your life and that will be enough and you will be happy. I have so many interests and so many passions it is virtually impossible for me to pick one and think I could be happy doing it for the rest of my life. I'm just not wired that way. A different certain someone used to ride me on this all the time because "it's just a job . . . I work to live not live to work" (read that as "I am more evolved because I don't get as invested as you and the payout isn't worth it if you get involved"). I work to live too but does that mean that I can't feel passionate my job and career and eager to contribute to society every day? What if I never figure it out? What if I keep trying things out and spinning my wheels for the rest of my life? When do I (or do I have to?) give up and say that enough is enough and settle? I not I am not alone in this crisis; I know some of my friends are suffering too. This is where a look into the future would be mighty helpful - if I could just have some guarantee that life will work out and I will figure everything by the time I am x years old I would happily give up worrying and enjoy the ride.

Maybe I should lay off the hikes :)

Total miles: 48.9